How to Handle an Overbearing Manager

Introduction

Okay…so I don’t “really” have a manager, because I work for myself. But I do have to report to editors for some of my writing. I have been writing and getting my work published in magazines, newsletters, even contributed to how-to books. I’m considered and expert in two areas and I don’t normally have much trouble with people I report to. Editors have a job to do. They point out errors and factual mistakes. They remind you to stay on point and in focus (some of us can get a little wordy and lose track). Sometimes they even tell you that something you wrote is a piece of junk and to go back to the drawing board. What I’ve been experiencing with a content editor at Demand Studios over the past few weeks is nothing short of ridiculous.

So I had to ask myself if it was me or if it was her. Was I not doing my job? Was I really not providing the right kinds of references? Was I really being gloomy, or wordy, or unclear? And the list goes on. Of course, I’m the first one to take feedback from editors and try to accommodate, but this woman is ridiculous in her comments. Her editorial comments have been two or three times as long as the article itself and completely over the top.

Mind you, I’m working as a freelancer who pulls article titles from the thousands available. I had to submit an application and work samples to get picked for the higher paying articles in the Careers Section, and was classified by the company as an expert in my field. The articles I write have a suggested work limit of 400-500 words. That’s about one typed page. Because of the extensive writers' guidelines and required references, it can sometimes take two hours to write an article that pays $25. But I’m trying to brand myself, so I’m going the extra mile, putting in 10-12 hours a week writing a few articles that are feeding some very prominent websites. It’s not about the money. It’s about the exposure.

So, on Sunday, I did some in-depth research about gender discrimination in the workplace that is supposed to be posted on The Nest Woman in the careers section. I spent way too long on the research then wrote what I thought was a great article. I proofed, edited, and edited again. I spellchecked, included my references, added some resources for extra reading, and proofed and edited again. Okay…it’s just about perfect, right?

Nope.

I got back four pages of commentary.

That was it. Whether she rejects my article, or not, I decided I wasn’t going to let her push me around like that anymore. (Not that I really have a choice in the matter, if I’m going to write for DS, I’ll probably get her as an editor again.) She pushed. I stood my ground (in the form of a page and a half of rebuttal) and refused to scrap everything I’d worked so hard on. At the time of this writing, I don’t know the outcome. It may or may not be rejected. If it is, you’ll see the whole article right here on this blog. Then you can be the judges.

The point of all this is that it made me think about situations in which people have to deal with overbearing managers in the workplace and I want to discuss how to handle those situations. So here goes.

Is it overbearing and bossy, or do you need to tighten up a bit?

We’ve all done it…left something for tomorrow the forgot about it; taken a shortcut that screwed things up; pushed a demanding customer off on the new guy so he could take the heat; spent too much time in the bathroom; missed deadlines; had bad days when we just couldn’t get it together and get our jobs done.

Let’s face it; we all have to take our fair share of the blame when something at work goes wrong. At the very least, we need to take a look at ourselves objectively and see if there is any truth to the feedback. If there is, then we need to fix it. Bottom line. We are responsible for our own actions and if there’s a problem with our actions we should “man up” and accept the criticism.

If you’re staying on top of it and getting the work done, whatever it is, it still might be your fault because you let your boss push you around and don’t stand up for yourself. Maybe you don’t want to lose your job, or maybe your just a wimp (like me) and completely avoid confrontation whenever you can. You also need to make sure you’re not just being oversensitive.

Take an inventory. Your stuff. Her stuff. His stuff. Their stuff. Fix your stuff, then wait a while and see what happens.

If you’re still being disrespected and mistreated, it’s time to take some action.

Plan the rebuttal

WARNING: Don’t do what I have a tendency to do with pushy, overbearing people: hold it all in and stew on it, until one day it all comes out of your mouth like bubbling lava. It’s not a very good idea if you want to keep your job.

If the person you have to confront about the way he or she is treating you says the same things over and over again, you have a place to start. If you’re dealing with different issues every day you still have a place to start. If your boss is a crazy person, you may want to skip your boss and go to his boss.

WARNING: Don’t backbite in the bathrooms or the cafeteria. Keep your comments to yourself and to straight to the source.

If you have a friend or family member outside the workplace to bounce ideas off of, do that. Plan you rebuttal based on fact. You’ve been doing the job so many years. You’ve received all kinds of positive feedback from customers. Your quality ratings are exceptional. Write it out. Practice it until you know you can say it without being angry and yelling and screwing up all the words. Practice it until you know you can say it calmly and firmly.

SAMPLE SCENARIO: Every day the boss insists that you do X, even though it isn’t your job. Every day you do X and that put’s you behind in your work. Then at the end of the day your boss gets upset and threatens to write you up, or worse. You’re getting tired of it and would give anything to tell him to take this job and….

SAMPLE REBUTTAL:

Boss insists that you do X and you reply: Every day you ask me to ----.  It takes XX minutes to do and puts me behind on my other work. Then at the end of the day, you say I didn’t get my work done and threaten me. Since I only have so much time to get my regular work done, maybe you could assign someone else to the task, or adjust my goals for my regular duties.

The Confrontation

Humans don’t always react the way you expect. This rebuttal might get an amazing response and your boss might just back off or assign the task to someone else. On the other hand, she might fly off the handle and do something completely unexpected. You have to be prepared for either result and have a plan of action for either response.

On the lighter side, an offer of appreciation will suffice and off to work you go. If the confrontation gets ugly you may need to take your complaints to the next level up, or file a grievance.

Whatever the result is, you know you better than anyone else. If you can put up with it without going crazy and you don’t want to change jobs, then stay until you can do something better. Otherwise, you may have to find a different place to work, transfer out of the department, or any number of other options.

Remember: you have value. No matter who you are or what your background is, you have value as a person and you don’t have to be disrespected or mistreated.